Mediation vs. Litigation

If you are going through a Separation or Divorce, the process can be pretty confusing and stressful. Besides enormous personal changes, you are also confronted with a legal maze and the need to make important financial decisions. When trust has broken down, it helps tremendously to work with a neutral facilitator (Mediator) who can take you through the issues one by one, discussing options and solutions. Divorce does not have to be emotionally or financially devastating. As an experienced professional in Family Mediation, I can help you overcome your fears, achieve your goals and follow a constructive, efficient and cost-effective path to a resolution that benefits everyone involved, especially if you have children.

Divorce is a major transition that affects almost every aspect of your life. I can help you reach an agreement to dissolve your marriage through a non-adversarial process that allows you and your spouse to work together to make decisions. Mediation allows both parties to identify, negotiate and resolve the issues raised by the decision to divorce. You will have an opportunity to ask all your questions about the process during your free consultation and decide if Mediation is right for you. A detailed agenda is formulated that includes gathering of relevant information, clarification or issues, identification of hot button items, draft settlement agreement (Divorce Decree), cooling off periods and a resolution process.

A Mediator provides guidance, allowing the parties to shape the negotiation, and the participants often create solutions that are more creative than the courts. When both parties are part of the process of creating agreements and financial distribution plans, there is a better chance of meeting the needs of the entire family. Mediated Divorces, as opposed to Litigated Divorces, yield a higher rate of long-term cooperation, a lower frequency of costly returns to court and overall financial satisfaction.

Society has trained us to think that the first step is to find a lawyer. Yet, for many of us, this is not a good choice. A litigated divorce, where each person hires an attorney to advocate for their interests, can run into thousands and thousands of dollars! Think how a legal battle would affect you and your family's heath and your own tolerance for long, drawn out conflict! Ask people you know who have used lawyers, and then ask people you know who have used mediators. Look at which method will best prepare you for future communication about family issues. If you are still unsure which way to proceed, consider consulting with both a mediator and an attorney. Ask questions about the procedure, time frame, costs, payment methods and other consultants that you would need to talk with. Remember that you can stop mediation at any time and hire a lawyer to litigate. Or, if you've started working with a lawyer, you can shift to mediation at any time as well.

In conclusion, mediation helps you establish firm ground rules in a confidential environment so that emotionally charged issues can be talked about safely. This is a time-limited process in which both you and your spouse meet with a neutral third person who helps you decide on the division of personal assets, parenting responsibilities, financial issues and how decisions will be made after the divorce. Mediation will assist you with all necessary court documents and provide direction so that both partners can gather necessary information and review it systematically. Mediation is a low-cost solution to divorce and it helps you maintain some control and dignity during a very difficult time. Mediation rests on the premise that each person has legitimate concerns, that their self-esteem should be protected, and that the winner/loser mentality of the litigation process is detrimental to a healthy outcome.